For the past few hours I’ve been trying to figure out how to get the trial of Dragon Quest X to work on my PC. Download it and install it. Right, sounds easy enough. But too bad the whole friggin thing is in Japanese and I had to create a Japanese Yahoo account, which itself took around 2 hours. You know those, ‘captcha’ things they use to authenticate you’re a real person when creating an account for something or posting on a forum? Well I had to do one of those in Hiragana and I spent way too much time staring at symbols that mean nothing to me. Anyway, I finally got it to download and install and now the updater is at…5%…
So I happened to have a NES cart of, “Where in Time is Carm Sandiego” sitting on my desk in front of my this whole time and I had my daily epiphany (I don’t really have daily epiphanies). That’s supposed to be Carmen stealing the crown from some olde tyme aristocracy. Why, throughout my entire youth when this game was relevant (was it ever relevant?) did I not realize what this picture was SUPPOSED to be? I always thought it was just a bunch of people dressed up in periodic clothing to let you know the game was about time travel. Never did it dawn on me that Carmen had uncrowned a noble and absconded with the treasure while armed guards do NOTHING. And is she even really trying to get away? So let’s analyze this picture:
Woman in red – She’s actually dead and not really there. That’s why no one noticed her dismay and calls for help when Carmen came in to take the crown. This is where M. Night Shyamalan got his idea for the 6th Sense.
Man on Left – he is a dandy fop and unable to act
Pregnant Woman – initially I thought she had just fainted, but by her body language and angle of leaning, you can tell she’s beginning to go through contractions. The placement of the gentleman’s hands behind her lends an idea of her condition as he seems to be gently holding her mid torso, making sure to not wrap fully around her stomach. Also, it’s obvious her water broke and is evaporating from the heat given off by Carmen’s time machine
Man on Right – he’s attending to the pregnant wench
Guard on Left – Is posing for a picture. Since the first cameras took 10+ minutes to take a picture, he has to stand around looking assertive until it’s finished. Also, they’re not invented for several hundred years later.
Guard in back – May or may not have Downs Syndrome. It’s typical of those with such a disorder to become confused easily under stressful situations and are ill equipped emotionally to deal with them appropriately. Hence this man’s fearful, yet menacing gesticulations. BTW, who gave him a sword?
Carmen Sandiego – What the hell is she riding? I would want to say it’s some sort of motorcycle, but I’m not sure there are any wheels. It looks as if it’s got some sort of Knight Rider-esque front frame, but instead wheels it appears to be mounted on a roman column. As a kid, being a fan of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and having knowledge of their method of time travel, this method seemed no less strange to me. But recently I noticed that her legs are actually placed up beside her like riding a bike and now it doesn’t make sense. How is she supposed to make a swift get away when her vehicle of choice doesn’t appear mobile. I suppose it doesn’t matter when you under assault from guards of this nature.
7% update complete…. Ok DQX I guess you can wait until tomorrow.
Apparently it’s already started. Thanks to my last post, it was brought to my attention there IS a petition to bring DQX to America. So what are you waiting for? Get on it! Go sign!
If for some reason that link doesn’t work, go directly to their facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Operation-Hero/324420011042007
They were already toying with the idea of bringing this game to our shores, so if they see that enough people are willing to buy it, it’s more likely to happen. Nintendo of America had already been talking about the possibility of porting Xenoblade when the petition for that began. Reggie Fils-Aime claims that although they were aware of the petition, it had no impact on Nintendo’s decision stating that, “100,000 signatures does not mean 100,000 sales”. So what does that mean? We have to double, no, quintuple that? Well we’re a bit behind. At not even 2,500 signatures, there’s quite a bit to go. So go sign it. Let Square Enix and Nintendo know that you’ve got $60 set aside for them when the game is released here.
Dragon Quest, my favorite RPG series of all time, celebrates its 25th anniversary with oodles of goodies. This is the best Dragon Quest news I’ve heard since they announced they were finally porting Dragon Quest VI to America. Much of the 25th anniversary information is already common knowledge with fans, but apparently on Monday, Square Enix is going to be dropping a bombshell. This Monday, September 5th, Square Enix will be unveiling a new entry into the Dragon Quest Franchise! Popular speculation believes this will be the big reveal of Dragon Quest X, which has been in development for the Wii for some time. With Nintendo publishing the last few Dragon Quest releases, this makes the most logical case. It’s also no secret there is a 3DS Dragon Quest title in the works, so maybe even both will make a showing.
The press conference begins at 2pm Japans time, which is 1am eastern for us. You can watch the action unfold live on Square Enix’s USTREAM Channel
Other Dragon Quest releases on the way:
Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 2 – Like Pokemon, but with Akira Toriyama‘s monsters. Release Date: Sept 19
Dragon Quest Collection – Containing both the NES and SNES versions of Dragon Quest I, II, and III, unmolested and unchanged, in their original form. Set to release this Sept. in Japan, but still no word if it will ever hit us stateside.
Fortune Street – Not really a Dragon Quest game per se, but it has Dragon Quest characters in it. Itadaki Street in Japan, this series has never been released in America before. Plays like the bastard child of Monopoly and Mario Party. Release Date: Holiday 2011
There’s also a handful of Dragon Quest swag to pick up, including this cute little guy; a 1/1 scale of a King Slime. Unfortunately you’ll most likely have to end up importing these as well. Check eBay because these will probably never show up on our shelves.
I’ll be sure to drop an update once Square Enix makes their announcement.
Finally, I leave you with the Japanese trailer for the Dragon Quest Collection.
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And thanks for reading!